When the home begins, it is made up of two people: husband and wife. When a child comes along, the home is made up of three people: the father, the mother, and the child. When this addition is made, then the role of husband and wife change. Their relationship to each other remains the same, but the added responsibility of father and mother must begin in their lives. Their duties to each other must include the child. The husband, as head, must be the protector and provider. The wife, as his helpmate, is to lift up her husband and to be his glory for all to see.As father, he is to be the example of strength and authority. The mother is to be the example of love and mercy. The son must learn attributes of strength and authority from his father. If he does not learn these traits, he is not likely to establish his home under the headship of Christ, nor become the head of his house. From the mother, he must learn love and mercy. Strength and authority cannot be displayed without love and mercy. The two must become one in purpose. One without the other is not order.
The daughter needs to see the strength and authority in her father. If she does not see these traits in her father, she will not look for these traits when it is time to choose her own husband. She, also, must learn from her mother's love and mercy, or she will not know the qualities needed to become a helpmate to her husband when she marries. She needs to witness submission in her mother. She needs to witness strength and authority in her father. If she does not grow up with these patterns before her, she will not know how to submit to her husband, nor will she be able to submit to her heavenly Father.
If the right patterns are not daily evident in the home, then the daughter will choose a husband that she can bring under her control, that she can manipulate, to get him to do as she wills. She will wear the pants in the family. The same is true of the son. If the mother is a domineering wife, he will pick a domineering mate, believing this is a proper attribute in marriage.
This is why homes of our day are out of order. This is why marriages are failing by the millions. Marriage has become a by-word, and many choose to simply "shack up"; nothing to be expected from each other. Commitment and faithfulness are foreign concepts to a generation who has been robbed of godly patterns, so when a better deal comes along, they take it. The children are tossed to and fro and are given no foundation of headship, strength, authority, submission, love and mercy in their formable years.
"As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth.
Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate." *** Psalm 127:4-5
Children are placed in our hands to raise. They are as arrows placed in the hand of a skilled archer. It is the parents' responsibility to aim their children toward the heart of God. It is the parents' duty to form and shape these arrows with just the right amount of pressure applied in just the right places to prepare a projectile that will become a glory to the Father. Happy is the man who has a quiver full of these straight-shooting arrows. They shall not be ashamed.
How we raise our children will determine whether they will be a blessing or a shame to the parents. Today, most children are not raised, they just simply grow up. Many today, Christians included, are training their children by godless books that were produced to pervert the child, and to bring ease into the parents' lives by relieving them of their God-given responsibilities. The result of such books has been three generations of rebellious children who live a self-destructive way of life. The suicide rate among our young is out of control. The only solution available is to return to God's Word and re-establish God's order for the home.
God has laid down strict rules on how to discipline children. When Paul listed the qualifications for leadership in the assembly, one of these qualifications concerned the home and His children.
"One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity." *** I Timothy 3:4
Before a man can be a leader in the assembly, he must rule his own house well. The word ruleth means "to stand before in rank, to preside and to be over". The father is to have his children in subjection (HUPPOTASSO - to rank under). This is the only place in the Word where HUPPOTASSO is used in this manner. In other applications, the word HUPPOTASSO refers to the wife submitting unto the husband and the husband submitting to Christ.
When it comes to the children, the father is to have his children in subjection. He is to have them under his control, direction and guidance with all gravity. The word gravity means "dignity, honesty and teaching". Today, philosophy states, "Let the children do their own thing. Let them learn to express themselves." This kind of thinking has produced an abundance of rude and disrespectful children who are a disgrace to their parents.
The father, as head of his home, has the right and the responsibility to teach his children respect; respect for himself, for others, for other's property and most of all the respect and reverence for their God.
In past generations, the children were always taught to respect their elders. Anyone who was older than the child was his elder. Today, the children are not taught respect, and because of this, society and especially the church, have suffered as we have watched the children who were raised in the church go by the way of the world. The Bible speaks of this generation,
"There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother." *** Proverbs 30:11
A generation of children who have no respect for their father or their mother. One of the prophesies Jesus gave of the last days speaks of these children,
"And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death." *** Matthew 10:21
Much of the acid rock and other forms of rock music carry this message of eliminating the authority figure in the child's life. The occult, so many of the children are involved in, carry this same message of killing the parents. Many of the suicides among teenagers today are because, in these groups, they are taught that the ultimate sacrifice to their god, satan, is their own life. These atrocities have been allowed access in the home because God's order has not been established. Instead, chaos has taken over and is ruling the homes; Christian homes included.
The Word says, "God is not of confusion," *** I Corinthians 14:33. Confusion means "a state of disorder and tumult". God will not operate in an atmosphere of confusion, disorder and tumult. If there is confusion in the home, how can we say Christ is the head of our home? Christ cannot be the head if the husband is not submitted to his head and the wife is not submitted to her husband. Christ will never dwell in the household of confusion and disorder. The prophet Isaiah wrote,
"As for My people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O My people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths." *** Isaiah 3:12
The prophet Isaiah saw our day and the pitiful condition of the Christian home. Children have become their oppressors. The Hebrew word NAGAS is used as oppressor and means "to drive as an animal, a workman or an army". In simple terms, the children order their parents around and tell them what to do. We see this in every age level, beginning from the time the children can talk, through their teenage years. Parents are brainwashed. The media bombards the home with advice that if the child is not allowed to have freedom of expression, the parent could harm the child and hinder his communicative abilities. In reality, all this produces is a rude, undisciplined, disrespectful child who will bring shame to the parents.
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